Well… hello strangers, it certainly feels strange to be back here, though I suppose that should come an no surprise as it’s been eight months since I last posted. To be perfectly honest I wasn’t sure that I would every post on here again.. without sounding wanting to melodramatic, when I stopped blogging in February I was… broken?… empty?… I just switched off and shut down.
I can’t believe it’s been nearly two months since my last Pain Management Session. It feels like I have been so busy in the mean time that it’s just flown by. But then Christmas and the New Year are always manic. Since my last session I have been to see the Physiotherapist (that was mid December) and last week I had my ‘Pain Management review’ which is a short meeting with the lead Occupational Therapist and the Physiotherapist to see how we are getting on and if we have managed to put any of the strategies in place from the course.
I have always found Winter a difficult time of year. During the cold dark slog of January/February I find myself lacking motivation and in recent years, I have struggled with what I now know where Fibro flare ups. I am not sure if it’s the cold, the dark, the low mood or a mix of all three. But I have noticed, especially last year that the winter felt like one flare up after another.
I often suffer with parent guilt stemming from all sorts of things. I know that it’s something that a lot of people have to deal with – it seems to be a natural part of parenting. But sometimes I feel like parent guilt is going to overwhelm me. This month it’s the start of Boo’s increased nursery hours which have set off my parent guilt. As she is now three she can have her 15 free hours of childcare.
Warning – this could be the most rambling post I have written and I am not sure it actually has a point…
I struggle with this one. I am one of those people who finds it really difficult to say “No” or even to suggest something that would be a compromise I am not sure why this is. I wish I knew, I think it would make my life a lot easier and less stressful at times. Since being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and going on my pain management course, I have realised that it is more important than ever that I learn to say no, or rather give myself permission to say no.