I wrote numerous posts about Boo starting nursery when I went back to work after my maternity leave finished, it was a difficult time for both Boo and I as we had lots of big changes to make. We missed each other lots (well I missed Boo and we had tears at both ends of the day from Boo) and Boo had to start napping without feeding to sleep and drinking breastmilk from a bottle, and I had to sit and express at work.
However we have slowly settled in to the routine of things, though I am now giving up my job so Boo does not need to go to nursery. I have been in two minds as to whether to stop nursery completely, or to have Boo go for one morning a week still. I have been trying to make the decision for the last few weeks, and I have been swaying back and forth. I have been having endless conversations with my husband, my mum and anyone who will listen!. Should Boo carry on going to nursery? I seem to have asked that question so many times over the last few weeks, I am sick of hearing myself say it and I am sure others are sick of me going on about it!
In the end I have decided to stop nursery all together for the time being, for a number of reasons. Not in any way because the nursery is bad, they have been absolutely wonderful but I think for the next 6 months at least I intend to keep Boo home. We have had to give four weeks notice so Boo will still be going two days a week until the end of February.
I have several groups I like to take Boo to, and I think that she will be able to get the social interaction I believe nursery provides from these group. We will be going to groups Monday mornings, Wednesday afternoons and Friday mornings, and possibly Wednesday mornings as well. I think this gives Boo the opportunity to try out lots of different activities and see lots of different people, from dancing on a Monday to bounce and rhyme at our local library on a Wednesday afternoon. I think about what Boo and I could do together with the money that it would cost to send her to nursery for that one morning at week, and for now, the money is best spend on things the two of us can do together.
There is also the not so small matter of the fact that Boo keeps getting poorly. I know children pick up all sorts and Boo is not picking up everything from nursery however, since starting nursery Boo has had several viruses which have led to all over body rashes and since she had bronchiolitis and tonsillitis back in December (which led to a overnight hospital stay) she seems to pick up every single thing going. I want to give her the chance to get over that as much as possible and maybe start nursery again in the summer. I have had to keep her home from nursery a lot over the past couple of months because she is poorly, including today because she has a temperature (again).
I do worry about the fact that this will mean that Boo has very little time regularly away from me, I am keen for her to be independent, but I think I need to make more of an effort to take up the offers of babysitting we have had from family!
Unexpectedly, am feeling sad because I think about all the things that Boo has done at nursery, (she learned to nap without feeding to sleep, she has painted pictures and made us a calendar and a decoration for our Christmas Tree and made several things that are up on the wall at nursery) I know that we make pictures and paint at home but it just doesn’t seem the same as having Boo bring home what she has made for us). I can’t even think about her little picture and name above her peg without feeling sad (I am feeling a little crazy writing this). And I know that she will be going back to nursery again at some point, but I can’t help wondering if we are making the right decision, should Boo carrying on going to nursery?
I guess this is just another one of those many parenting decisions where it is impossible to know what will actually be for the best, you just have to go with what you feel and hope you are right.