The Lone Sock of Doom…

I was walking home from Baby Bounce and Rhyme, (which takes me about 20 minutes) when I got about 100 yards from my front door I realised that Boo had no socks on, which was strange because she should have had a lovely pair of socks on.  I looked behind me and about 50 yards up the road I can see one sock, this actual sock.  I walked all the way back to the library to check along the way for the other sock I even asked if we had left it there but no… so now I am just left with this… the one, lone sock of doom.

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brummymummyof2

I recently bought myself a new Pink Lining changing bag, as I found that the one I had used since Boo was born was becoming too small now that we also needed toys and snacks and more clothes with us on days out.

I decided on the Pink Lining Blooming Gorgeous Woodland Tote bag because I loved the way that it looked and also because I had read good things! The handles and adjustable over the shoulder strap are comfy to hold even when the bag is as heavy as I pack it (I have a need to take everything but the kitchen sink out with me!) The adjustable shoulder strap is great for slinging the bag over the handles of my pram, and it works with both my travel system and my stroller.

Review - Pink Lining - Blooming Gorgeous Tote Bag in Woodland Print - I can honestly say that this is one of my best baby purchases. I adore this bag...

The bag has two deep outside pockets on the sides as well as the flat pocket with the flower detail.  I have found the flat pocked excellent for papers and it’s great because it’s separate from the main chaos of the changing bag. The deep outside pockets are large enough to store a sippy cup, which I keep in one of them and in the other side I tend to keep things like anitbac hand gel so again I don’t have to dig through all the bits and pieces I have in the main bag.

The bag comes with a padded changing mat and a wet zip bag.  The changing mat is great, and folds neatly and is easy to put back in to the bag and it’s an added bonus that it is padded.  The wet zip bag is a godsend at times, for those poo explosions on the go or clothes soaked from drink spills etc, it has saved the rest of the clean clothes and toys etc in my changing back on numerous occasions.

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I was really excited when the bag arrived, and even more excited when I saw how much space there was inside it! Even with the padded changing mat and the zip wet bag. Sadly my old changing bag had no space once I had the changing mat in it. So this was a very pleasant surprise!  Though I am sometimes in danger of filling the bag and it can end up weighing the same as a small car!IMG_0954

There are all sorts of inbuilt internal pockets including elasticated nappy pockets, two thermal bottle holders (I haven’t used these as I am breastfeeding but they are handy none the less to store things in and I have been using them for pouches and snacks for when we are out.  There is also a pen loop which is great for someone like me, who loses about ten pens a day and can never ever seem to find them! There is also a detachable mirror in the bag, which is great because I use my changing bag as a handbag too (I really don’t want to look like the bag lady!)

Overall I am really really happy I bought this Pink Lining Changing Bag, as it has made my slightly chaotic life a little bit easier and it looks absolutely amazing too!

Family Fever

I thought I would list all of the things I feel guilty about after been a mummy for 9 short (fast) months, in the hope that I can make myself feel better, kind of like unloading all your complaints and worries into a diary, or telling them to your other half at the end of a crappy day at work.

Here goes…

The first thing I felt guilty about, before I actually physically became a mummy was suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum.  I felt like my body was failing Boo, it was falling apart, i wasn’t meant to be a mummy.  I feel guilty about trying some of the meds to deal with the sickness, which didn’t work anyway (they made me feel worse so I only lasted about 3 or 4 days on them), until I was lucky that I saw a G.P. who signed me off work so I could concentrate on being sick.

I am not going to go into details about how much I suffered, it’s boring, unpleasant and I really don’t like to think about the specifics. In short, I was sick several times a day from weeks 6-19 and then nauseous and sick less often from week 20 – 41. I didn’t enjoy being pregnant, I feel guilty about that too, I was miserable, in the early days there were times when I wondered how I was going to survive to 12 weeks, (when I naively believe it would magically disappear… ha ha ha…. not funny).

It is mainly due to this that my husband and I have decided that we will not be having anymore children, because
a) I couldn’t put myself through that again,
b) It wouldn’t be fair to Boo, I couldn’t look after myself let along a baby too
c) It was difficult for my husband to see me suffer like that and I wouldn’t want him to have suffer again either

I feel guilty, too, that Boo will not have any siblings, I wonder if I am being selfish and that, when she is a bit older and is a bit more independent, maybe I could deal with it again. I mean, Boo is 9 months old now, and those 9 months have flashed passed, which is strange because I felt like I was pregnant for 9 years not 9 months.  But no, I wouldn’t want anyone to see someone they love suffer Hyperemesis, so I couldn’t do it to Boo (or my husband again).

So I am left with this guilt about Boo being lonely with no siblings, and a lingering guilt about the meds I took while I was pregnant, and guilt about the fact that I was miserable whilst being pregnant (I feel robbed!! You are supposed to glow, and enjoy being pregnant, not shine with sicky sweat and spend most of the time with your face in a bowl!)

I am not feeling sorry for myself, I just honestly feel guilty about these things and think about them from time to time and wish things were different, I am envious of all those lovely ladies who suffer no sickness, glow throughout and go on to have other babies.   I just have to focus on the fact that I am blessed with Boo, and lucky that I had no other issues during my pregnancy.

Now it’s time to feel better!

Many people have siblings, and many don’t… there are lots of well rounded, productive, happy, none lonely only children (Boo is not technically an only child, my husband has two boys from his first marriage, however they live in another country, do not speak English – though Boo will learn her fathers first language – and their mother makes it incredible difficult for my husband to see them, so Boo has two half brothers, but they will, sadly, probably not have any close relationship). Boo is not going to be at a disadvantage because she doesn’t have a sibling (or siblings) living here with her, she will have have friends and pets.

The meds I took were deemed safe by my G.P. and many women take them with no ill effects, and besides I didn’t take them for very long.  Sometimes I really wish I could mute that tiny negative voice in my head that goes on and on about things, you know the one that tells you people are laughing at you, when they really are not, or that your skirt is tucked in to your knickers (when you’re wearing trouser but you still have to grope your bum just to be sure) , or that there is a spider on the toilet seat and so you can’t sit down on it in the dark otherwise a massive hairy spider is going to bite your bum… but I digress.

What does it matter than I didn’t enjoy being pregnant, what’s important is that I enjoy the time I have with Boo, and I have enjoyed every second from the moment she was born until now, and I will enjoy every second from now until forever. That’s what’s important. That’s what counts.

Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the negatives, I posted recently about trying to find the positives in stopping breastfeeding. And it honestly made me feel better, and this post too has that aim, to make me feel better about the negatives I am still struggling to deal with.  I want to be a happy, healthy mummy to Boo that is my main goal in life now, and she deserves nothing less.

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#BabyBabble

After writing my post Bye Bye Booby Juice I realised how sad I was about stopping breastfeeding Boo, so I have decided to cheer myself up and write a list of all the things I have to look forward to when I stop breastfeeding her.

1. Caffeine, caffeine, caffeine… woohoo, Cherry Coke and Proper Coffee!!I am avoiding caffeine for the most part, except for chocolate (I can’t live without chocolate) so I can’t wait until I can drink as much caffeine as I want, I was addicted to Cherry Coke and Dr Pepper before I got pregnant

2. Bras – Being able to wear nice decent bras, I HATE the nursing bras I have and can’t to wear all my lovely ones I have, and buy some new ones!

3. No more nursing pads – mine always seem to jump out of my bra even though they have the sticky bits, how does that work?

4. Being able to shower/get a bath without feeling like one of the fem-bots from Austin Powers shooting milk everywhere!

5. Did I mention Caffeine?

6. Not having to wear a vest top under everything in a vain attempt to prevent my stomach from being displayed to the world!

7. Not having to pick clothes because they have boob access

8. Not waking up covered in leaked milk… sexy!

Obviously these are all minor things, but it’s nice to have some positives to focus on! Ah I do feel a little better now =)

The List

Zena's Suitcase

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