The time has come it seems to start thinking about saying goodbye to breastfeeding.  I have fed Boo for a lot longer than I originally intended, (my plan was 6 months) and a heck of a lot longer than I thought I would achieve in the early days (I felt thankful to get through each feed!).

I return to work in two months time, sadly, so I have to start thinking about my options as I don’t want to stop suddenly as that wouldn’t be fair to Boo.  I am feeling very sad about the whole process of stopping breastfeeding, in recent months, once both Boo and myself got better at it breastfeeding has become a lovely time that we share and she still feeds to sleep both during the day and at night.  She still feeds on a night, (one a night – for the past month unless she is teething).

In all honesty it seems that I have an insurmountable task ahead of me, we are going to have to change vast parts of her day. I don’t even know where to start.

Do I move feeds so she can’t feed to sleep?
Do I start sleep training so she can be put in her cot awake?
Do I just stop feeding her on a night or do I carry on with that?
Will she wean herself off her night feed? (I have no problem waking once a night to feed her even once I have gone back to work)

And those are just a few questions I am asking myself, I have kept putting this decision off, hoping she will start to eat more, or feed less, but I am cutting things very fine and soon, two days a week she is going to be without me, (and my boobies) from 7.30am until 6pm. I intend to express so she can help breast milk at nursery but she doesn’t take a bottle and spits out most of what she drinks from a cup.

This big change in Boo’s relationship to breastfeeding is also a big reminder that sooner than I would like breastfeeding is going to come to an end. Full Stop. And this makes me feel really really sad, I love our feeding cuddles and I know I am really going to miss them.  I hope to let Boo wean herself off breast milk gradually as she gets older, and I don’t want to be the one who decides that it is time to stop.

I have some big questions to answer and some big changes to make, and I am really not looking forward to any of it.  I wish with all my heart that I could have longer before I needed to go back to work so that I could just let Boo lead the whole process.

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On Friday evening we had a new arrival to our house, he is very small and was very shy at first, and Boo really doesn’t know what to make of him yet. She has been crawling after him and also stroked him a couple of times, though sometimes she doesn’t like him too near her and she cries if he meows too much.

He is very social and just wants to be stroked and cuddled all time, I think it will be an interesting couple of weeks while Boo and the kitten get to know each other but my hubby and I are hoping that they will be best friends!

We have decided to call him Fuzz Lightyear.  He has got lovely blue eyes, I am hoping to get some nice pictures of him but here is one from Friday evening.

IMG_0518

 

I am in no way wishing my daughter to grow up any faster, (the last eight months have flashed past!) but there are some things that I am really really looking forward to…
 
1. Her first day of school – seeing all the lovely photos of their not-so-babies in uniform looking all smart and proud doing the rounds at the minute has been really nice. I know I will probably have mixed feelings at the time but right now it’s something really exciting to look forward too in a far off kind of way.
 
2. When she starts walking, I am going to be so proud, and she is going to be able to get into so much more trouble, since she started crawling I already need eyes in the back of my head and about 8 pairs of hands!
 
3. Seeing how she will react to our kitten, he is arriving over the weekend and it will be really interesting to see what Boo makes of him.
 
4. Boo choosing her own first pet, both my hubby and I are big animal people and want to fill the house with lots of pets, especially as I will not be having any more children.
 
5. The first time Boo runs up and gives me a hug and a kiss.
 
6. The first picture she makes – It’s going to be up on the fridge and then framed!
 
7. Her first birthday – well, all of her birthdays, I have already started buying presents…
 
8. Her first Christmas – this falls not long after her first birthday but it is still going to be exciting, all those family traditions we can carry on and the new ones we can start as a family.
 
9. The first time she sings along to a nursery rhyme, or any song with me,
 
10. The first time she reads to me, I wonder what the book will be. (I already love reading her bedtime stories and I think this is something which is going to be more fun as she gets older and can understand more)
 
11. Every time she wakes up from a nap or for the morning because I know that we are going to have lots of fun, and I am treasuring each and every day with her.
 
 
 
The List

Boo is teething.

Her two bottom middle teeth came through over a month ago (she got the first one on a Friday and the second one on the Saturday – that was a fun couple of day!) And now it seems she is getting one of the front top ones.  I can’t actually really tell as she won’t let me feel her gums, or rub teething gel on her gums, and she has decided she doesn’t like opening her mouth now either.

After, finally, getting some sort of night time sleeping sorted… I had a blissful week of her waking up only once a night for a feed between 12 and 1am, with two extra special nights of her sleeping through from her bedtime til 5.30am.  But that all stopped the night before last, just as I started to remember what evenings in front of the TV were like!! I almost made it to an adult bedtime!! For the past two nights, poor Boo has been suffering with her teeth and an on/off temperature and has been up 6 or 7 times each night, I feel like a zombie.  I can’t complain really, as I have had that good week to recharge my batteries and she really needed comforting and for the most part over the last few months she only wakes twice a night, so all in all things could be a lot worse.  I really wish I could have some caffeine right about now, but I am avoiding most caffeine (who could live without chocolate?) whilst I am still breastfeeding her, I don’t need a more awake Boo.

She has never been a good sleeper, and when at six months I spoke about her sleep with the health visitor I actually laughed (cried!) at the ‘average’ sleeping amounts for daytime and nighttime for babies. Hahahaha *sob sob sob*.  Boo has never slept near to those averages, so I am starting to wonder whose baby has stolen all of my babies sleep!! I was then informed by the health visitor that some babies are obviously outside of these averages and some babies just need less sleep than others…

Hi Mummy!!

Well, thanks for that! So here we have a baby who appears to not need sleep, and a mummy who loves her sleep and has, sadly almost forgotten what I good nights sleep is.  And lie-ins? I don’t even want to think about lie ins, they are what I dream about in those quick snatches of sleep I do manage to get in between Boo waking and my hubby snoring!

Snoring… don’t get me started on that… a massive slap in the face, I don’t really hear the actually noise I just hear a dull chorus of ‘I’m asleep and you’re not… laa laa laa laa laa laa’.

I think this last of sleep might be starting to drive me crazy … well crazier…

What do you do when your baby is not sleeping?

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