I received an email last night, it literally was the stuff of nightmares, reading it made me feel sick to my stomach and as I continued to read it just got worse.

It was an email from the nursery which Boo used to attend, to provide us with more information about an article which had appeared in the press yesterday.  I read the email (without clicking on the link to start with) and it was a explanation of the fact that their pre-recruitment checks have been checked by both Ofsted and the Police and there were no concerns and they as a nursery had done everything in their power to ensure that procedure and rules were followed…

My stomach turned and I sat opened mouth in horror as I read the words ‘the member of staff in question had been arrested on suspicion of possessing indecent images of a child’.  I scanned through the rest of the email and then with a shaky hand clicked on the link to the article. The words  ‘750 indecent photos and movies of children, including 142 of the most vile category A’ jumped off the screen.

I was aware in the back of my mind that if Boo had come in to contact with this individual then we would have been informed already by the police.  And checking the dates the person worked there before Boo was born (but for 5 years!) The reason the article has come out now is becuase they have admitted and been convicted of making indecent images of children and been given a community order, a curfew and ordered to sign the sex offenders register for 5 years.

My thoughts were all over the place as I read – I physically felt sick and then I felt a sense of relief when I realised that the dates meant that they had had no contact with Boo, I then felt guilty because of that relief – what about those parents of children who had been at the nursery at that time? Even though no evidence was found that any of the nursery children were involved you would still always wonder. I know I would.  I felt anger that anyone could possibly do this, I felt even more angry that they received no jail time.

It is hard enough leaving your precious children without things like this happening. Obviously the nursery is not at fault they followed procedure to the letter (the person had even been approved to adopt by social services!) but it shows that nothing is 100%. I must admit this has really shaken me.

And it’s made me feel so relieved I am now as home looking after Boo full time, because if all this had come out and she was still there I am not sure I would want her to stay there (I know this is probably an overreaction but when our children are concerned aren’t we allowed to be overprotective?)

The world sadly seems to be a scary place, and now I have Boo the world seems more scary and there seems to be so much more to worry about.  I just hope that Boo can live in the happy innocent world of childhood for as long as possible and I wish that my husband and I could protect her from the harsher realities of the world forever.

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