Not so much a wicked mess but more of a celebration of mess…

I love that there is such a great reason for my living room to be such a mess =D

 

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brummymummyof2

Settling back in to work has been tough and even though I am only doing two days a week I am feeling quite exhausted. I am sure, soon, it will feel like normal and the morning routine will feel more like a routine and less like a mad dash!
However one thing which seems be be more of an issue than I had anticipated is expressing at work. I need to express mid morning and mid afternoon to keep with Boo’s feeding pattern on other days and to have enough milk for her to drink from a bottle at nursery (Boo has, slowly, started to drink a bit more from a bottle, which is a weight off my mind).
However I am finding myself really uncomfortable on my work days, it seems I am not able to express as much as Boo takes for a feed as I am left feeling uncomfortable which get worse as the day goes on and isn’t totally alleviated when I express in the afternoon.
I am also feeling really self-conscious as I can leak even when wearing breast pads, so feel like I am constantly checking myself.
I am lucky that I am being given time to express at work and my manager has been really accommodating, though the room I express in is a makeshift first aid room/stationery cupboard which I have to put a sign up on and lock, but I constantly feel like someone is going to need to come in the room and knock on the door which definitely adds to my unease. I don’t know why I feel so uneasy in the room. And I am wondering if this is contributing to why I can’t express as much as I would be able to at home, and means that I end up feeling like my boobs are going to explode.
I am not sure this part of my work routine is ever going to feel normal (I hope it gets easier though) and I am really surprised by how much I dislike the whole thing. Obviously is it necessary and I am going to keep going until Boo doesn’t want to feed anymore but I am feeling guilty that I am finding it such a chore and I worry that my supply is going to suffer on the other days.

I think that, sadly, I may not be alone in feeling like this, and I can understand how difficult it must be for ladies who have to go back to work sooner than I did and need to express more often, as it would feel almost impossible.  I honestly think if I had had to go back full time and when Boo was younger and feeding more I would have stopped breastfeeding.

I wish this post were more positive and that this latest phase in our breastfeeding journey was a happier one but that’s really not the case.

It’s been a really hectic week, and getting up and ready and out the house for a set time is more difficult than I remember!

Boo is settling in to nursery, though she still cries when I drop her off and pick her up, which makes me feel like a bad mummy!

My job has changed so much (due to a complete restructure) and so I left a varied, nice job I have return to a mind numbingly boring job which isn’t the job I applied for when I first got this job and it certainly isn’t something I would ever look to do. So I think that I may have to do my three months and then move on.

I am super excited about Christmas, but really need to get my bum in gear and finish up my Christmas shopping.

But!!!

I am even more excited about Boo’s first birthday! I can’t wait, and I can’t believe she is going to be 1 already. My little baby is going to be 1!

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I am currently sat watching a bit of TV and writing this while Boo has a nap, she is poorly at the minute and we have been to the drs this morning as Boo has a virus which has given her a rash all over her body and the dr said the start of an ear infection too. She is coping remarkably well with being poorly, but it’s going to be a weekend at home, trying to get Boo to have some rest (I am not quite sure how I am going to get a manically active baby to have some rest?)

I am hoping that now the first week of work is over, that things might become a little less hectic and I might just get some more time to blog…

 

The right, proper and correct way to eat weetabix…

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On a side night, am I the only one who is pretty sure that weetabix and cement are the same thing…

brummymummyof2
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